路遥知马力

路遥知马力, 日久见人心。

Sigh it's pretty shitty when u happen to be in a situation when u realize that the person u think so highly of, hold high regard for him/her happen to be not what u think he/she is.

Is it true that we will never know a person fully? I answer my own question, YES we will never!!! Coz everybody has a dark side and everybody has his/her own dirty little secret.

So whether u know the person fully is not the issue. The issue is to what extent do you THINK u know the person? Sometimes for someone, u thought u know quite a great deal about him/her, but end up realizing that u still don't know him/her enough! And that's pretty shitty. Really shitty.. Really..

Time.. Only time can tell. But that doesn't make "time" a friend. Say if u know your friend for 10 years and only then u realize that he/she is a cb knn asshole do fked up things. Won't u feel that u wasted 10 years talking to him/her? Like u could have saved ur breath and emotions for someone else more worthy of it.

Ok I know sometimes it's not that he/she is a hidden asshole for 10 years, but it's just that there's this period of time that he/she changed. People change, and whether u can accept the change is another story.

So that's why, sadly, that friendships come and go. But think again.. The ones who stayed with you throughout your change.. Are they the genuine friends who see beyond the surface, deep into your soul, and understand why u change and hence accept and embrace the new you? The ones who don't judge u.. The ones who would love you for who you are.. They should jolly well be called "family".

However everything has it's limit la.. Like if the change is huge and unacceptable, who can tahan?
example one day u found out that I become totally unlike myself.. Become a liar, a cheat, a thief, a rapist, a murderer, a drug addict, an alcoholic who beats up his wife, an adulterer, a terrorist, a scum of the earth.. And you have been a victim of such actions from me. Will u still try to understand why? Will u still accept me? I say NEVER! Not even if we're family.

But what if u feel so deeply for this person, thinking that u knew a great deal about him/her but realized that all these while he/she is like that just that u're not close enough to know it, and since u're not close, so he/she is always putting a facade in front of u? Honestly, i'll be very sad.. Knowing that I'm never in your world.. And feeling like I've never been regarded as a close friend.. Not close enough to take off that mask that u show everyone else, the same one u show even the aunty who clears ur personal rubbish bin by the side of your cubical at work, the same one that u show to the cashier in a mall, the same one u show to any other stranger u meet.. It's quite hurtful, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Will it be weird if I suddenly change now, to slowly be more and more involved in ur life? Maybe that's not a bad change. But it takes 2 hands to clap, if I inch forward but u run backwards, nothing can be achieved- instead I will say that it backfired, and I lost a friend.

Certain kinds of friends have to keep a little distance, so as not to scare each other being too close.. Coz some just cannot accept it, and some just have reservations for a greater tomorrow.

Omg what the hell am I saying till this point? I wonder if it still link with the topic above, coz honestly.. I forgot what topic did I put. Guess if this is a compo, I would have failed.

Am I in your world? Am I supposed to feel happy that we're friends for half our lives, or feel sad that we've spent half our lives not really knowing each other.