opportunities

sometimes i blame myself for not being proactive in participating in school events. zero contribution to the school.

was thinking before the start of sch to at least join a club or sth, am still thinking now but just think think think think think thinkhtin.. ah lost it there yah just think only can do shit. my failure is not doing it. lazy as usual. mouth talk leg never walk.

sticking with the usual guys is fine, but opening up to widen social network is also good. network network very impt.. always hear ppl say, "go out there, meet more people." I know i know! but I like to meet people naturally. though i understand that the people i meet may just have certain power to save me when im in distress.

eh but face it la, i've tasted it before, even if you know the fella, but not close enough, when you need help, he/she'll just tell u to go fly kite, or "i dunno?", or "i'm very busy", or just ignore!

does that mean i gotta try to treat every potential "useful" person nice and try to be as close as possible so as to prepare for future rain? no way. I believe friendship is not like that. it's supposed to be unconditional, no intention, no schemes.

then again how would i know if i'm not gonna meet someone who is a worthy friend by participating in activities, CCAs, volunteer etc.. I'm not sure la actually, but it's just such a turn off looking at the people who are currently existing in many of the activities..

it's actually quite disgusting to know that many are participating just to show it on their resumes in the future.. look at these people.. wholesale in the market! planners, schemers, people who do thing not because they love to, not because they got the passion, not because they wanna contribute. how i know? i spoke to a few! and i can see beyond the fake faces and expressions they put, those masks. trust me, i can see.

why do i not wanna join sch activities? sigh.. i just cant bear to meet assholes. if like facebook or friendster has one "who do you wanna meet" column for my profile description, i'll say i wanna meet good people. that's enough. 我若是个正人君子，那邪不胜正，阴不抵阳，就是鬼见我，也要钦敬三分，还有甚怕呢？说真的，我不怕坏人，只是不想费力消灭他们。